


Colorful

by Sparklenelle



Category: Bakemonogatari
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 19:17:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9086353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparklenelle/pseuds/Sparklenelle
Summary: "There’s always a lot that people think of after all has been said and done, isn’t there… And yet, I’d never thought of myself as an exception." [One-shot drabble]





	

[A/N -- Based off an ask I received on one of my blogs; the prompt is "things you forgot to say". It's been modified slightly to fall more in line with Actual Canon instead of an AU, but it's more or less the same. (kanbaru voice) eat up! ]

 

* * *

 

 

There’s always a lot that people think of after all has been said and done, isn’t there… And yet, I’d never thought of myself as an exception.

Well, I was proven wrong after we met again.

I guess that kind of thing was bound to happen. I’m not particularly thrilled about it, but neither was I about meeting her again.

Both of them happened – both her and my feelings.

And so I came here, those feelings guiding me, and seated myself upright with both of my shins supporting me. I’m not certain if she would have been pleased at my propriety here, or simply scolded me, but regardless–

Recent memory informed me that I hadn’t visited her in a significant amount of time. Last I remember, there were a small cluster of rocks – I distinctly remember five or so irregularly shaped rocks leading up to the grave stone that had been there. But in the time that passed, something had uprooted the plant life in this area and so even I had a little bit of difficulty in locating them.

Regardless.

I centered my gaze at a rock that was still wedged in the ground. I’m surprised it’s still here.

“I’m surprised I’m still here, Numachi.”

In an instant, I felt my heart pound wildly. A slip of the tongue, or just what I really felt, I could discern that it was neither.

I dipped my head lower, as if bowing in apology. I’m just lost – I’ve been wanting to simply mingle with the world at large, with everything familiar -- Araragi-senpai, Senjougahara-senpai -- and those feelings are just really messing with me. That’s it – that must be.

I’m tired and lost and haven’t been sleeping well–

“But, if I had gone with you, would we have remembered each other the same…?”

So heavy.

For a statement that couldn’t even wait to part from my lips, it was still enough to necessitate force.

For such words that lingered in the air between us, they made no effort in sapping the breath from me.

My hands, once resting atop each other on my lap, curled into tight fists.

This is what trying to rationalize gets you, Suruga!

One drop, then two, and then several more splash as they collide against my fists. The wind blew, scattering a few fallen leaves across the grasses of this cemetery. It does little to cool my warm face, but as gentle as that wind was, I paused for a moment.

That singular moment was long enough to notice a lone pair of leaves that had wedged themselves in the rock I set up.

One was withered and took on a dull tone, the other was vibrant and held a mixed yellow and orange tone that I’d never previously seen in a leaf. As much as I reached for differences between the two, ultimately I had reached the conclusion that they were simply leaves, those that had been bound by being part of the same tree – the same branch, even.

Really, I can’t even wrap my head around a reason why one would be so withered and the other a little less so.

I dip my head again, diverting my gaze from those leaves.

No, it’s not that I can’t wrap my head around it. I just–

“No, I don’t want to see that side of myself, Numachi – not again.”

I shook my head.

Not yet.

But, wait–

Wasn’t that withered leaf still hanging on to the same branch as the other?

Or maybe–

“After all, I’m not as vibrant as you. Vibrant, bright, flashy – someone who could stand on her own. The way you could defend on your own against an entire team….”

My fists were soaked by now – my skirt, equally so.

I wish I could feel more embarrassed shedding these many tears for her, but honestly–

“Honestly, I couldn’t hate you.”

No, I couldn’t.

My feelings for her weren’t something so shallow as hatred.

“No, if I could say–”

If I could express what I felt, if it were only that easy to say, I’d have just as eagerly sprinted to the peak of Mt. Fuji and shouted it from there.

“If I could say something, it’s that I–”

But things don’t work out that way.

_….loved you._

“–was jealous of you.”

They never do.

Not for someone as dull as myself.


End file.
